Fallehuckinglujah is my comment on the power of words; it's a bastardization of Hallef***inglujah, which I am wont to say in moments of joy but cannot because of the f*** part. If, however, I switch the f and the h it retains the same feeling but is no longer obscene. Same feeling, same letters, only two letters switched but one is verboten and the other is, well, not

Plot device

13 November 2017 by admin

OB “What we need is a plot device.”

YB “Like what?”

OB “Like Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. You know? Major motivation. Or The Searchers. Martha died real bad. That drove the story.”

YB “So which one of us dies?”

OB “It doesn’t have to be death. That’s just a nice juicy one.”

New character, Dan, walks up. OB recognizes him.

OB “Oh, hey, Dan.”

Dan “Shut up! Where’s my money?”

OB “Money? I don’t owe you money.”

Awkwardly, Dan backtracks.

Dan “Well, how about I got Bobbie pregnant.”

Susie spews her tea on Bobbie. Bobbie wipes her face with a napkin.

Bobbie, angrily at Susie “Don’t do that!”

OB “Dan, a plot device has to be part of a character. My character would never owe your character money and I changed Bobbie’s diaper so if she has a vagina she installed it in secret.”

Susie spews her tea on Bobbie. Bobbie wipes her face with a napkin.

Bobbie, angrier still, at Susie.

Bobbie “Stop doing that!”

YB, to OB, slyly.

YB “Or you could admit you’re really in love with Judy.”

Susie spews her tea on Bobbie. Bobbie wipes her face with a napkin.

Bobbie, furious at Susie.

“Jesus Christ, Susie!”

Susie, to OB.

“What is he talking about?”

OB, nervously.

OB “What? Just because he says it doesn’t make it true. Good plot device, though.”

Susie “Tell me it’s not true!”

OB, loudly “I do not love Judy!”

Judy walks up.

OB sees her, embarrassed.

OB “Oh, hey, Judy.”

Judy “I don’t love you either.”

Judy to Dan “Do you need something? This table’s occupied.”

Dan backs away, mumbling.

Bobbie to Judy, pointing at Susie “She does not get any more tea.”

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03 November 2017 by admin

Right now America is a strong, vulnerable woman who is being raped and everyone is standing around thinking “I hope he stops soon.”

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01 November 2017 by admin

There’s a bank commercial that shows a woman and her cat. The cat jumps up on the couch, wearing a beautiful, sparkling collar. The woman gets a text of a charge on her credit card, looks at the cat and says “no.” The cat seductively winks and the bank calls as the cat runs away.

I watched the commercial on mute, as I can’t fast forward and I took that to mean the cat bought the necklace and the woman stops the charge.

Turns out, with sound, the spurious charge is for a dog collar from Doggie Lovers. The cat is then seen as storming away, the jilted lover, as the woman pleads with the cat and thanks the bank.

I like my story better.

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30 October 2017 by admin

Baseball is really all about the home plate umpire’s folly. I enjoy watching his game, most times, but sometimes he pisses me off with his petulant whim. Obvious balls called strikes are deciding the game in ways they shouldn’t and is taking the game away from the players.

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23 October 2017 by admin


I can’t solve every computer problem. Sometimes you need a specialist, like if I’m a GP and you’ve got a brain tumor, well, I’d send you to a brain surgeon.


You’re laptop has a brain tumor.


Not literally…figuratively.

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13 October 2017 by admin

All ills seem to derive from powerful men exerting power they have (Trump, Weinstein, etc) or otherwise powerless men expressing rage by taking power (Las Vegas).

Power should not reside in one place or person but distributed throughout society. No one person should be able to take power and hurt others. Safeguards must be put in place to prevent abuses of power by ensuring that all are equally powerful.

How to speak amongst the din? Can a system that allows everyone a voice not descend into useless cacophony? And not fall to manipulation?

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13 October 2017 by admin

Losing Bill Cosby was rough. He was a big time hero of mine growing up and he turns out to be a rapist. Now Harvey Weinstein comes along and sours the love I have for the movies he made while he was forcing young women to have sex with him. Young Shakespeare. The English Patient. I can’t listen to anything by Michael Jackson, can’t watch anything with O. J. Simpson or any number of really bad guys. Different fuck ups but fuck ups nonetheless.

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29 September 2017 by admin

Danny: it’s like when I touched your breast in eighth grade.

Bobby spews her tea into Nikki’s face.

Danny: and that’s the only breast I’ve touched, so that should mean something.

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09 September 2017 by admin

Pace your life to match that of a dog on a walk: stop and smell the bushes. I don’t want to stop here but the dog does, so why not. I may as well look at the bush he’s sniffing. May be nice. Unless the bush belongs to Aunt Bess then it’s bad. I hate to look at Aunt Bess.

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06 September 2017 by admin

Character turns. Ongoing…

NRA fanatic turned gun-control advocate after his child dies by gun.

Four characters: two boys and two girls. Three timeframes, same locale. A restaurant. Relationships change from era to era, waitress becomes girlfriend/wife, customer to employee. Simple relationships, major growth, all told in real time.

Would it be three screenplays? Or do the era refer to each other throughout?

Is this the place for time tourists? I keep hearing the Mac boot chime and know it has a place but is it here? Could be opening shot in extended storyline.

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31 August 2017 by admin

Slavery should have been stopped immediately but our founding fathers chose to keep it, expecting us to solve the great problem of our civilization: are we all equal?

Many throughout history, and many now, say no. Most of the revolutionary generation thought no. In writing his famous preamble Jefferson kept slaves, fathered children with them. Was she not equal?

The 5/8 dynamic exemplifies this: the South was able to swell their power, from the beginning, by the law that made a slave 5/8 of a man. Not that he could vote, but it’s an ideal system: a slaveowner who has 1000 slaves gains 625 votes. Votes that do not vote.

By swelling the rolls, states gain more representation in the capital. More slaves, more representatives. No wonder they fought to keep slavery. And that is why they fought. Power.

Keeping this system for generations ingrains it in that society, children growing up knowing they were better/worse than someone else.

What if the founding fathers had said “slavery will not be enshrined in our sacred documents” perhaps we’d be a smaller, northern country dealing with a southern country. Why was that trade off not made?

Picture them both growing westward, each dragging their value systems along. At some point, we’d clash over land.

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31 August 2017 by admin

Life’s all about limits. We all have limits, murder, profanity, transgender, and that’s what separates us. When limits synchronize, as they have now, really bad things happen.

Conflict between societies, races, species, existed for millennia but the struggle for existence trumps all.

Everyone should thrive. It’s as simple as that. If one or all of your limits is counter to this, we have issues.

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24 August 2017 by admin

A dog who doesn’t play fetch simply understands the futility of the task.

“You’re throwing something and I’m supposed to bring it back? Why?”

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Bonus baby

19 August 2017 by admin

We don’t have kids, we have dogs, and for the first time in almost thirty years we have only one dog. Lupita has passed and she’s a great story.

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08 August 2017 by admin

In electronic terms, current follows the path of least resistance. My uncle plumber had a different way of describing the same basic concept: shit flows downhill.

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29 July 2017 by admin

Most of what we are seeing in our current political climate will be with us for awhile because we simply do not all agree and it’s a question of ideology. I believe that I am my brother’s keeper, in the form of laws and taxation to support those who have none or at least very little. Many disagree with that and that’s the problem: we do not agree. I wonder if we ever will.

What drives this schism? Why are my ideals set in the particular way that make me sick when I hear or see certain things that have the opposite effect on others. We can’t be all alike and there will always be conflict but why are we so angry and violent?

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A visit

26 July 2017 by admin

Ex-pat living in Paris is visited by his son. Projection. Saturate expectations. Just how good could that be? And then how badly could it go?

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16 July 2017 by admin

Women face a tough go of it in many ways men don’t. Encouraged by managers, starlets reveal during photo shoots. An actress recently stated she did not get roles because she failed to flirt during casting. Flirt’s a subjective term but the point fits. Everything provokes sexuality. Trump tells the wife of a world leader that she’s in good shape, as if that mattered. Women wear makeup from girlhood. And it’s all shallow. 

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10 July 2017 by admin

What is a record? Instantly, I think music. Always. Four ambitious Liverpudlians got together and in a days time produced a record that shattered the recording industry. 

A few, exciting years later, they shut it down. In the meantime, they made some great records. 

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09 July 2017 by admin

Customer: “I like my water with about 1/3 ice. The ice floats and displaces the water; this ratio keeps the water ice cold.”

Waitress: “You want me to measure every fucking glass?”

Customer, ruffled: “No, no. Just close.”

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09 July 2017 by admin

Story as a patchwork of scenes in parallel with history. Glimpses of my life, told as truth, without pulling punches; interesting things happen to everyone. Why not write, even obliquely, about what I can personally say is a true event. I really did break my friend’s nose, just a few years before he was my best man and about the same time he shot his waterbed with a .22.

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Harold is intimidated 

05 July 2017 by admin

Susie asks a provocative question (nothing sexual) and Harold is stuck. 

A hole opens in the tube Harold’s been and yanks him outside. He struggles mightily and returns to the conversation, saying something erudite. 

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