fallehuckinglujah

Fallehuckinglujah is my comment on the power of words; it's a bastardization of Hallef***inglujah, which I am wont to say in moments of joy but cannot because of the f*** part. If, however, I switch the f and the h it retains the same feeling but is no longer obscene. Same feeling, same letters, only two letters switched but one is verboten and the other is, well, not

Tumor

23 October 2017 by admin

Tech:

I can’t solve every computer problem. Sometimes you need a specialist, like if I’m a GP and you’ve got a brain tumor, well, I’d send you to a brain surgeon.

Pause.

You’re laptop has a brain tumor.

Pause.

Not literally…figuratively.

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Power

13 October 2017 by admin

All ills seem to derive from powerful men exerting power they have (Trump, Weinstein, etc) or otherwise powerless men expressing rage by taking power (Las Vegas).

Power should not reside in one place or person but distributed throughout society. No one person should be able to take power and hurt others. Safeguards must be put in place to prevent abuses of power by ensuring that all are equally powerful.

How to speak amongst the din? Can a system that allows everyone a voice not descend into useless cacophony? And not fall to manipulation?

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Heroes

13 October 2017 by admin

Losing Bill Cosby was rough. He was a big time hero of mine growing up and he turns out to be a rapist. Now Harvey Weinstein comes along and sours the love I have for the movies he made while he was forcing young women to have sex with him. Young Shakespeare. The English Patient. I can’t listen to anything by Michael Jackson, can’t watch anything with O. J. Simpson or any number of really bad guys. Different fuck ups but fuck ups nonetheless.

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Breast

29 September 2017 by admin

Danny: it’s like when I touched your breast in eighth grade.

Bobby spews her tea into Nikki’s face.

Danny: and that’s the only breast I’ve touched, so that should mean something.

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Bush

09 September 2017 by admin

Pace your life to match that of a dog on a walk: stop and smell the bushes. I don’t want to stop here but the dog does, so why not. I may as well look at the bush he’s sniffing. May be nice. Unless the bush belongs to Aunt Bess then it’s bad. I hate to look at Aunt Bess.

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Turn

06 September 2017 by admin

Character turns. Ongoing…

NRA fanatic turned gun-control advocate after his child dies by gun.

Four characters: two boys and two girls. Three timeframes, same locale. A restaurant. Relationships change from era to era, waitress becomes girlfriend/wife, customer to employee. Simple relationships, major growth, all told in real time.

Would it be three screenplays? Or do the era refer to each other throughout?

Is this the place for time tourists? I keep hearing the Mac boot chime and know it has a place but is it here? Could be opening shot in extended storyline.

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5/8

31 August 2017 by admin

Slavery should have been stopped immediately but our founding fathers chose to keep it, expecting us to solve the great problem of our civilization: are we all equal?

Many throughout history, and many now, say no. Most of the revolutionary generation thought no. In writing his famous preamble Jefferson kept slaves, fathered children with them. Was she not equal?

The 5/8 dynamic exemplifies this: the South was able to swell their power, from the beginning, by the law that made a slave 5/8 of a man. Not that he could vote, but it’s an ideal system: a slaveowner who has 1000 slaves gains 625 votes. Votes that do not vote.

By swelling the rolls, states gain more representation in the capital. More slaves, more representatives. No wonder they fought to keep slavery. And that is why they fought. Power.

Keeping this system for generations ingrains it in that society, children growing up knowing they were better/worse than someone else.

What if the founding fathers had said “slavery will not be enshrined in our sacred documents” perhaps we’d be a smaller, northern country dealing with a southern country. Why was that trade off not made?

Picture them both growing westward, each dragging their value systems along. At some point, we’d clash over land.

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Limits

31 August 2017 by admin

Life’s all about limits. We all have limits, murder, profanity, transgender, and that’s what separates us. When limits synchronize, as they have now, really bad things happen.

Conflict between societies, races, species, existed for millennia but the struggle for existence trumps all.

Everyone should thrive. It’s as simple as that. If one or all of your limits is counter to this, we have issues.

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Futile

24 August 2017 by admin

A dog who doesn’t play fetch simply understands the futility of the task.

“You’re throwing something and I’m supposed to bring it back? Why?”

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Bonus baby

19 August 2017 by admin

We don’t have kids, we have dogs, and for the first time in almost thirty years we have only one dog. Lupita has passed and she’s a great story.

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Current

08 August 2017 by admin

In electronic terms, current follows the path of least resistance. My uncle plumber had a different way of describing the same basic concept: shit flows downhill.

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Ideology

29 July 2017 by admin

Most of what we are seeing in our current political climate will be with us for awhile because we simply do not all agree and it’s a question of ideology. I believe that I am my brother’s keeper, in the form of laws and taxation to support those who have none or at least very little. Many disagree with that and that’s the problem: we do not agree. I wonder if we ever will.

What drives this schism? Why are my ideals set in the particular way that make me sick when I hear or see certain things that have the opposite effect on others. We can’t be all alike and there will always be conflict but why are we so angry and violent?

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A visit

26 July 2017 by admin

Ex-pat living in Paris is visited by his son. Projection. Saturate expectations. Just how good could that be? And then how badly could it go?

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Encouraged

16 July 2017 by admin

Women face a tough go of it in many ways men don’t. Encouraged by managers, starlets reveal during photo shoots. An actress recently stated she did not get roles because she failed to flirt during casting. Flirt’s a subjective term but the point fits. Everything provokes sexuality. Trump tells the wife of a world leader that she’s in good shape, as if that mattered. Women wear makeup from girlhood. And it’s all shallow. 

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Record

10 July 2017 by admin

What is a record? Instantly, I think music. Always. Four ambitious Liverpudlians got together and in a days time produced a record that shattered the recording industry. 

A few, exciting years later, they shut it down. In the meantime, they made some great records. 

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Displacement

09 July 2017 by admin

Customer: “I like my water with about 1/3 ice. The ice floats and displaces the water; this ratio keeps the water ice cold.” 

Waitress: “You want me to measure every fucking glass?” 

Customer, ruffled: “No, no. Just close.” 

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patchallel

09 July 2017 by admin

Story as a patchwork of scenes in parallel with history. Glimpses of my life, told as truth, without pulling punches; interesting things happen to everyone. Why not write, even obliquely, about what I can personally say is a true event. I really did break my friend’s nose, just a few years before he was my best man and about the same time he shot his waterbed with a .22.

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Harold is intimidated 

05 July 2017 by admin

Susie asks a provocative question (nothing sexual) and Harold is stuck. 

A hole opens in the tube Harold’s been and yanks him outside. He struggles mightily and returns to the conversation, saying something erudite. 

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What times do you want to go to

04 July 2017 by admin

“If you could go anywhen, when would that be?”

He thought. Visions flared through his mind, mostly sex, but some worthwhile. Then his eyes got bigger. “Like anytime?”

“Within reason. Have you read “A Conneticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court?”

He shook his head.

‘Yeah, not his most famous work but most applicable right now.”

Then a seriousness flushed his face.

“Ok, rules.”

“There are rules?”

“Of course there are rules. Can’t have people killing Leo Harvey Oswald or Adolf Hitler as children.”

“Why not?”

“A council in 2145 ruled that the timeline in place at that time (I’m not being elliptical) would be the agreed upon timeline. Makes sense: you know that everybody and everything is the way they are because of the very specific events that unfolded that brought us to that time and place.”

“I’m confused. No changes?”

“Nope. Just visiting.”

“Doesn’t anybody ever change things?”

“Oh, yeah, from time to time,” winking.

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When do you want to go to

04 July 2017 by admin

“Rotate the dial clockwise, four clicks.”

“But the dial doesn’t rotate.”

Smiling condescendingly, “slide your fingers around the dial as if you were rotating it. We’ve evolved beyond moving parts.”

He cautiously “turned” the dial to the right and could feel the click as he passed the 3 on the face.

“Wow.”

Soft laughter. “Keep going.”

6. Click.

He’s thinking “I know I’m not moving anything but something’s moving.”

9. Click.

12. Click and an amber glow briefly warmed the watch face.

“Excellent. You’re almost there. Turn the dial counterclockwise four clicks.”

9. Click. 6. Click. 3. Click. 12. Click and the entire room froze, but for him and his friend.
Nothing moved. Food halfway to mouths hung in space, not dripping. Someone brushing past him stopped in his tracks, just as they were touching.

“What the fuck?”

Bellowing laughter. “You’ve stopped time, my friend.”

There was an odd hum he couldn’t identify.

“What’s that hum?”

“Basically the current sound from all sources, stopped where they were.” Looks around, as if revisiting an old haunt. “Weird, huh?”

“Yeah.” Then his brain kicked in. “Now what?”

Broad smile. “Now you go backwards or forwards.” He nodded towards the watch. “Look at the dial.”

He glanced down and saw millions of microscopic dots, every color and some no one else had ever seen before now. And they flowed in patterns that were slowly hypnotizing him.

Fingers snapping. “Hey, come around.”

He looked up, back at the motionless world around him. Nothing had moved.

“This is a lot to take in.”

“That’s an understatement. And it gets better.”

“How far back can I go?”

“As long as you go back to a timeplace that supports human life, the times the limit. I’ve heard tell of some who’ve gone to prehistoric ages. You know, dinosaurs, etc.”

“And forward?”

“Only as far as the build date of the watch. It can’t go beyond it’s birthdate.” Smiles and winks.

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Dog rules

02 July 2017 by admin

Rules for having a dog

1. Fresh water. Dogs, like most things, need water to survive and I always say if I wouldn’t drink it I won’t make my dog drink it. 

2. Safe place to sleep. It doesn’t have to be a palace just safe. And inside. Sorry those of you who won’t let their dogs in the house: I never met a dog who’d rather sleep inside with me, if given the choice, and that’s good enough for me. 

3. Food. Anything is better than nothing. Always ensure they have sufficient for their appetite. And the better quality the better. 

4. Love. They are god’s beings same as us.  Never hit them, hurt them, scare them or make them think they’re not in dog heaven. 

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Tock tick

27 June 2017 by admin

A man is in a horrific accident and lies dying. He pleads to his friend, “Get my watch.” 

“Your watch?” 

“Yeah, I had it on me.” 

“Must be at the police station.” 

Intently, “get it!” 

“Why?”

“Because I’m dying!” 

“What does your watch have to do with it? Shouldn’t I get a doctor?” 

After a long pause, soul searching: “I’m from the future.” 

Laughs, “right.” 

“I need to get to my own time. Doctors there can fix what’s wrong.” 

He goes to the police station. 

“I need my friend’s watch.” 

“And who are you?” 

“His friend.” 

“We don’t give out belongings except to the belonger.” 

They argue, escalates. 

Shouting, “He’s from the future and has to go back to the future so they can save him!” 

Laughter. He leaves, sans watch. 

He returns to find his friend has died.

“Shit.” 

Collage of calling funeral homes, searching for relatives – there are none. Burial, eulogy  – he did have friends. 

The police release his belongings, including the watch. 

Excitedly, he puts it on. It looks just like an Apple Watch. Nothing happens. 

Montage of looking at the watch, playing with it, frustrated by it. 

A man appears one day, saying he’s the deceased’s cousin and needs his stuff. 

“How come I couldn’t find you?” 

“I was on vacation. Listen, can I just get his stuff?” 

“I don’t have any of it.” 

Smiling, points at his wrist. “Yes, you do. Right there.” 

“This?” Hiding it. 

“We’re not allowed to maim anyone but…”

“Maim?” Terrified. 

“Just give me the watch.” 

“But it’s just a watch.” 

Smiling, pulling out a credit card that’s transparent, with a display showing a throbbing circle that gets bigger the closer it gets to the watch. 

“What’s that?” Pointing at the card. 

“Never mind. The watch, please?”

“Only if you tell me what it does.” 

Laughs, “think I’m stupid?” 

“Well, then, who was he?” 

Uncomfortable, “a time tourist.” 

“A what?” 

“Someone who goes back and forth in time for entertainment. Not for research; those guys are assholes.” 

“Assholes.” 

“Yeah, always bringing shit back with them. Leave it there!”   

Still dismayed. “How many are there?” 

“Tourists or assholes?” 

“How many people going from time to time?” 

“Millions. We honestly don’t know.” 

Surprised. “Don’t know?” 

“Hey, I’m from 2165. The tech just got better. There’s always somebody from after you, you know.” 

“From after you?” 

“After you in time, from the future.” 

“How can you tell them apart?” 

Gestures with the card.  “Tools.” 

“Do you change things?” 

“Oh, yeah, lots of shit. The Cold War was a piece of work.” 

“Yeah?” 

“They had to send people all the time, stopping shit. We’re talking thermonuclear war. Fucking up the future.” Shakes his head. “The whole thing almost went up lots of times.” 

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Conversation at a garage sale

26 June 2017 by admin

Customer: “I like your Boba Fett tshirt. How much?” 

Owner: “It’s not for sale. You’d have to kill me to get it. Or just shoot me and take it. The bloodstains on the tshirt would probably increase its bounty hunter mystique. “Wanted dead or alive.” 

Customer: “No, really, how much?” 

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Four character play

23 June 2017 by admin

Young man, his younger autistic brother, the young man’s girlfriend and a platonic young woman. Restaurant staff contribute. 

Major plot turns: 

Mother of brothers dies

Platonic versus girlfriend 

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Reboot

19 June 2017 by admin

You’re sitting comfortably in 1968 and you hear the unmistakable sound of a Mac rebooting, Steve Jobs chosen chime that woke up thousands upon thousands with late night restarts.  

So, there are at least two people who shouldn’t be in that time. Or are there more? 

Protocol dictates immediate action. I check for frequencies ranging from about 800MHz into the multi core speeds and find the signal of a Mac, circa 2001, either an iBook or TiBook. Also called the IceBook, as compared to the DeLorean of turn of the millennium laptops. 

I can see it’s in the far corner in a bag next to someone who looks like he’s from 2001 but not obviously out of place. Subtle bits like frames from designers born in the 70s. 

But your companions are from 1968 and you’ve got to get to that TiBook. 

Chime

Shit, it rebooted again. 

———-

“What’s your true year?” 

“You know, you lose track.” 

Surprised, she attacks, “how could you forget your true year?”

“Hey, it comes and goes.”

“Do your recall code.” 

Now he’s surprised. “Why?” 

“Just to find your year. You can come right back.” 

Shamed, he speaks the command and in his place appears something of a percentage of him, never the whole man. 

He awakes in a prison cell. 

———

“Is he gone, then?” 

Stunned, she muttered, “who?” 

Dismissively, he retorted, “me, I mean my original.” 

He pauses, then says, “damn, I’ve been away for 23 hours and 18 minutes, so…”

Slamming his hand on the table, he barks, “he fucked Susie last night.” 

Even more stunned, she stumbles, “Susie?” 

“Yeah, I’ve been waiting for weeks.” He paused. “Makes since he’d come back for that.” 

——

“Want to go to 1920 with me?” 

“What’s in 1920?” 

“Carl Mays kills Ray Chapman.” 

“Gangs, murder…?”

“Baseball.” 

——–

They step through a doorway and they’re in another time and in different clothes walking out of a men’s room in Ebbets Field. 

It’s hot and they’ve been noticed. 

“Sorry, that entrance was designed for me.”

They move away. 

“How does he kill him?” 

“It’s getting dark, the baseball will be dirty and hard to see.” 

“Dirty?” 

“Yeah, cigar spit, dirt, whatever.” 

“What’s your interest?” 

“The only man killed playing baseball. Gets beaned in the left temple, hemorrhages, stumbles and falls down. Dies after midnight. Tonight.” 

“So, you’re a sportsmen?”

“No, just curious.”

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