fallehuckinglujah

Fallehuckinglujah is my comment on the power of words; it's a bastardization of Hallef***inglujah, which I am wont to say in moments of joy but cannot because of the f*** part. If, however, I switch the f and the h it retains the same feeling but is no longer obscene. Same feeling, same letters, only two letters switched but one is verboten and the other is, well, not

Duration

09 December 2017 by admin

How long will I last? How long will the phone I’m writing this last? Controlling the shelf-life on things or changing the focus to that which you do control, like diamonds.

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Surfing time

08 December 2017 by admin

What impact would a time traveler have? As he changes time, Home changes it back, but not creating new worlds, rather opening new doors. Like I know there are billions of lives coexisting on Earth but I don’t know each person. Even the most traveled could only touch so many lives. That’s what we do: travel. We surf time.

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Falling

29 November 2017 by admin

Sometimes I feel like I’m falling, like Luke Skywalker in Empire Strikes Back only I have both my hands and Princess Leia is not waiting to save me.

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Plot device

13 November 2017 by admin

OB “What we need is a plot device.”

YB “Like what?”

OB “Like Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. You know? Major motivation. Or The Searchers. Martha died real bad. That drove the story.”

YB “So which one of us dies?”

OB “It doesn’t have to be death. That’s just a nice juicy one.”

New character, Dan, walks up. OB recognizes him.

OB “Oh, hey, Dan.”

Dan “Shut up! Where’s my money?”

OB “Money? I don’t owe you money.”

Awkwardly, Dan backtracks.

Dan “Well, how about I got Bobbie pregnant.”

Susie spews her tea on Bobbie. Bobbie wipes her face with a napkin.

Bobbie, angrily at Susie “Don’t do that!”

OB “Dan, a plot device has to be part of a character. My character would never owe your character money and I changed Bobbie’s diaper so if she has a vagina she installed it in secret.”

Susie spews her tea on Bobbie. Bobbie wipes her face with a napkin.

Bobbie, angrier still, at Susie.

Bobbie “Stop doing that!”

YB, to OB, slyly.

YB “Or you could admit you’re really in love with Judy.”

Susie spews her tea on Bobbie. Bobbie wipes her face with a napkin.

Bobbie, furious at Susie.

“Jesus Christ, Susie!”

Susie, to OB.

“What is he talking about?”

OB, nervously.

OB “What? Just because he says it doesn’t make it true. Good plot device, though.”

Susie “Tell me it’s not true!”

OB, loudly “I do not love Judy!”

Judy walks up.

OB sees her, embarrassed.

OB “Oh, hey, Judy.”

Judy “I don’t love you either.”

Judy to Dan “Do you need something? This table’s occupied.”

Dan backs away, mumbling.

Bobbie to Judy, pointing at Susie “She does not get any more tea.”

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Rape

03 November 2017 by admin

Right now America is a strong, vulnerable woman who is being raped and everyone is standing around thinking “I hope he stops soon.”

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Perspective

01 November 2017 by admin

There’s a bank commercial that shows a woman and her cat. The cat jumps up on the couch, wearing a beautiful, sparkling collar. The woman gets a text of a charge on her credit card, looks at the cat and says “no.” The cat seductively winks and the bank calls as the cat runs away.

I watched the commercial on mute, as I can’t fast forward and I took that to mean the cat bought the necklace and the woman stops the charge.

Turns out, with sound, the spurious charge is for a dog collar from Doggie Lovers. The cat is then seen as storming away, the jilted lover, as the woman pleads with the cat and thanks the bank.

I like my story better.

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Petulance

30 October 2017 by admin

Baseball is really all about the home plate umpire’s folly. I enjoy watching his game, most times, but sometimes he pisses me off with his petulant whim. Obvious balls called strikes are deciding the game in ways they shouldn’t and is taking the game away from the players.

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Tumor

23 October 2017 by admin

Tech:

I can’t solve every computer problem. Sometimes you need a specialist, like if I’m a GP and you’ve got a brain tumor, well, I’d send you to a brain surgeon.

Pause.

You’re laptop has a brain tumor.

Pause.

Not literally…figuratively.

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Power

13 October 2017 by admin

All ills seem to derive from powerful men exerting power they have (Trump, Weinstein, etc) or otherwise powerless men expressing rage by taking power (Las Vegas).

Power should not reside in one place or person but distributed throughout society. No one person should be able to take power and hurt others. Safeguards must be put in place to prevent abuses of power by ensuring that all are equally powerful.

How to speak amongst the din? Can a system that allows everyone a voice not descend into useless cacophony? And not fall to manipulation?

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Heroes

13 October 2017 by admin

Losing Bill Cosby was rough. He was a big time hero of mine growing up and he turns out to be a rapist. Now Harvey Weinstein comes along and sours the love I have for the movies he made while he was forcing young women to have sex with him. Young Shakespeare. The English Patient. I can’t listen to anything by Michael Jackson, can’t watch anything with O. J. Simpson or any number of really bad guys. Different fuck ups but fuck ups nonetheless.

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Breast

29 September 2017 by admin

Danny: it’s like when I touched your breast in eighth grade.

Bobby spews her tea into Nikki’s face.

Danny: and that’s the only breast I’ve touched, so that should mean something.

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Bush

09 September 2017 by admin

Pace your life to match that of a dog on a walk: stop and smell the bushes. I don’t want to stop here but the dog does, so why not. I may as well look at the bush he’s sniffing. May be nice. Unless the bush belongs to Aunt Bess then it’s bad. I hate to look at Aunt Bess.

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